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Self-Development Knowledge Base

confidence

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Confidence can be separately defined as 3 different concepts, all of which overlap and contribute to each other.

  1. Certainty - this is the most common definition of confidence. It describes a mental and emotional sense of certainty, in yourself or in something else. This is temporary and based on current thoughts and feelings; usually predictive thoughts that things will "go well" or observational thoughts that things are "good" right now, combined with pleasurable emotional states like happiness, motivation, certainty and bravery. If thoughts or emotions are "negative" then it is considered that the confidence has "gone".
  2. Competence - this definition is based on how likely your skills are to successfully complete a task. You are confidently doing something when it is done well (to a high standard) and likely to be completed successfully. This may also trigger certainty-type confidence, and is associated with good outcomes and results, as well as certainty thoughts and feelings of focus, achievement, control and ability.
  3. Self-esteem or self-worth - this is the most elusive, difficult to define, and most meaningful version of confidence. It means that you have a high sense of self-worth that is relatively unaffected by fleeting emotions, thoughts or situations. You can be confident in who you are without needing to think certainly, feel "good", or succeed in your goals. This type of confidence is based on long-term psychological work done to create beliefs of worthiness, acceptance and integrity.

BROJO's views on self-confidence

BROJO is most concerned with the self-esteem definition. This takes the most amount of work and is the hardest type of confidence to create, however because it is less affected by inner sensations and external outcomes, it's the easiest to maintain, rely on, and face the real-life difficulties without depending on anything that's beyond your control.

From Dan's book Nothing to Lose-

Confidence is a true and deeply ingrained belief that you can handle anything, including failure and the unknown, combined with the ability to accept and enjoy reality. It is essentially a deeply loving and trusting frame of yourself, supported by evidence of you frequently and consistently behaving in alignment with your core values.

BROJO recommends following the 3X Model and living by your core values to achieve this 3rd state of confidence.