One mistake I see my clients make in relationships and friendships and so on is that they compare people to other people that they're used to, rather than a more objective baseline.

You can see this with politicians. We compare politicians with each other rather than normal people.

If we were to compare them with normal people we'd see how full of shit they are, they're just ridiculous! But compared to each other, one's slightly less full of shit than the others so we call that one an “honest” politician.

You might have been with someone who beat you and cheated on you, and then you upgrade to someone who only cheats on you, and you say “I've got a good partner now.”

When in reality, all the partners you ever had have been incredibly unhealthy.

So be wary when you're assessing who should stay in your life.

If you're comparing them to people you've been with in the past that might not be an accurate measurement of what is possible and what you deserve.

You should be comparing them to the kindest and most confident people, and then seeing how they stack up against that.

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