One of the strangest things to think about deeply is the idea of "fitting in", i.e. belonging socially to a group.

Most people I see put nearly all of their energy into this, whether it’s at work, with their “friends”, with their family, or just generally all the time.

Everything they do, every decision they make, is about trying to fit in, about being seen and accepted as “normal” or “cool”; as one of the group, whatever that group is.

When you think about it, fitting in can only happen in 2 ways.

Either your authentic personality is in harmony with the group, or it's not and you have to fake it in order to manufacture an illusion of that harmony.

Which means either you being you gets accepted and it's effortless, or you have to pretend to be something you're not in order to be accepted, which will be on a conditional basis (you must never stop pretending).

Pretending all the time is a miserable experience. I’d argue it’s worse than not fitting in at all.

So what I can't understand is why anyone thinks putting the effort in to fitting in is worthwhile, because it's miserable to be fake and if you're being authentic then you don't have to try.

Wouldn’t it be better to be real all the time until you find people you naturally harmonize with?

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