One of the ironies of nice guys and people-pleasers is that things we do to others are often things we hate being done to us.

Pushing our niceness onto others, trying to make their lives better, is a classic example of this.

When other people try to make our lives better, we usually feel pressured. We feel like they’re intervening in our lives without our permission. We’d rather they just stayed out of it.

Consider, even if the person accepts your help and forced kindness, it creates guilt in them: now they feel like they owe you something.

If you’re honest with yourself, quite often, you do think they do owe you something.

You’ve been nice, so now they have to be nice back to you.

You’ve put them in a position of debt without even asking for their permission—and you probably expect interest on that loan, too. They have to be even nicer to you than you were to them.

Is that really fair? Is that good behaviour?

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here:

https://youtu.be/jKg6-O7hqSA

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