I often coach guys on how to approach strangers, meet new people, and initiate new conversations. Whenever we start this kind of a coaching call, people always think that it's a technique problem: communication skills that they need to be better at, thinking of cleverer things that they need to say. However, without fail, once we explore the problem deeper, we find out that the real issue is in their intent.

The reason that they're so destroyed by rejection, nervous about approaching people, tired of doing this, and the core reason why they get so many bad reactions is because they're approaching people with a needy frame of mind: they're trying to get something from the other person.

I want you to imagine how you feel when you drop your wallet and a stranger picks it up and comes to give you your wallet. They approach you and say: "Hey, you dropped your wallet." You know the feeling you get when someone just gives freely to you, without expecting anything in return. Notice how much more likely you are to respond positively to that. This will give you a sense of the kind of intent you should be having when you go to meet someone.

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