A lot of people struggle with the idea of being both vulnerable and confident.

When sharing their feelings, many have a history of feeling like they're burdening people around them and playing the victim. Of course, they've been punished in the past for expressing themselves, and many have been seen as an inconvenience.

You may think that being vulnerable and being confident are two different things. However, it's all about how you say it. It's all about powerful honesty.

If you make sure to take responsibility for what you're sharing, and not burden the other person with it by showing that you are in control of it, then you're going to be transparent and vulnerable without making the other person feel that you're a victim. You've got to be able to say “This is my thing, not yours. You did not cause me to do this. I'm sharing it with you, but there's nothing you need to do about it.”

For example, if you say something like “You made me feel angry”, you burden the other person. However, if you say “I have a tendency to get angry in these situations and I'm working on it”, then there's no burden.

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