One of the many reasons why I advise my social confidence clients to stop asking questions during their conversations is because questions are often a vehicle for delivering judgment.

It's very rare that people ask questions from a genuinely open and curious perspective. Questions can be subtle manipulation tools used to persuade people or deliver indirect jabs behind false interest.

Often, a question has a hidden judgment inside it.

For example, if I ask you, “When are you guys planning to get married?” What I'm really saying is, “You should get married!” A more curious question would be, “How’s your relationship going?”

If I ask, “Are you guys going to have another kid?” I'm really saying, “You should have kids!” A more curious question would be, “What’s life like for you now that you’re a parent?”

Even if I ask, “What do you do for work?” I'm implying you should be employed! A more curious question would be, “How do you like to spend your time?”

When you ask a question it often comes with hidden pressure and judgment. You feel it when people ask you these questions, so you know what I’m talking about.

It blows my mind in my everyday life when I see people asking these questions and seeming to be unaware that they're putting all this social peer pressure shit onto other people. They're actually being unkind under the guise of being curious.

If you only use statements (i.e. share your personal thoughts and feelings), you're far less likely to be judgmental.

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