When I was younger, especially in my teens and early twenties, I really struggled with a sense of being “behind” everybody, socially speaking, and especially romantically.

I felt like everyone was so far ahead of me. They “got it” and I didn’t. They were maturing and developing while I was stuck feeling like a clueless 13 year old well into my adulthood.

And it's taken me many years to realize that this is similar to a beginner guitar player feeling like they're really far behind intermediate guitar players, thinking that an intermediate guitar player is like Jimi Hendrix, when in truth they still suck!

What you often don't realize when you struggle with confidence problems and social adaptability problems is you think everybody else is doing “well”, when actually they are still really fucked up!

Think about how many people need to drink alcohol or use online apps in order to feel brave enough to meet new people. Think about how many people yell at their children when they’re emotionally inconvenient. Think about how many people dress to impress others in the hope of being validated.

The evidence is compelling: these are people who have not fully developed and matured. These are people who are still teenagers, psychologically speaking. They lack confidence and integrity.

Think of how rare it is to meet a cool, calm, collected and mature adult who handles emotional crises well, never people-pleases or tries to make others like them, stands for their principles regardless of social judgment, doesn’t stress about money and meaningless things, and genuinely cares for others without having a hidden selfish agenda.

Nearly everyone is “behind”. Stop beating yourself up for it!

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