I remember the time in my life when it felt like I was trying to escape from a garden where my foot was cemented into the ground.

I had to leave.

There was nothing wrong with people that I was hanging out with, but they didn’t want to have the kind of conversations I wanted to have.

When I started Brojo and went social dancing with Latin dancers, I found people who did want to have meaningful conversations—people who didn’t get smashed five nights a week, who were working on themselves, reading the kinds of books I was into, and so on. I realized: “Oh, I’ve found a different type of person I’m into now.”

Even my physical attraction to women changed.

Girls I used to find attractive suddenly didn’t appeal to me the same way. I started seeing more desperation or red flags in them—things that used to go unnoticed.

On the other hand, girls who used to intimidate me now looked like my peers. They seemed like the kind of girls I should date.

I was now attracted to confident girls who stood up for themselves, rather than the party girls or emotionally unstable types I used to be drawn to.

To put it simply, it’s totally natural to outgrow the people you’re with and to start being brutally honest with yourself about how healthy those people really are.

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here:

https://youtu.be/Xh53HntaARM

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