There's a big difference in how confident people get their advice and feedback versus insecure people, and it's about when it happens and who it happens with.

Insecure people tend to ask for feedback or advice before they do something. They're anticipating taking an imagined action, and they go to somebody before they've even tried anything.

How should I start my business? How do I go and talk to that girl? What’s the best way to do x, y, and z?

They haven't even done a trial and error experiment yet. They’re so afraid of getting it wrong or embarrassing themselves, or they’re so dependent on approval and validation and perfectionism that it doesn’t occur to them to at least try on their own first.

A confident person asks for feedback on what they've already done.

What do you think of the way I started my business? Listen to this conversation I had with this girl, what is your feedback? How can I improve this dance move I’ve been practicing?

Confident people do something first and then measure it, rather than trying to get it perfect before they start.

And confident people go to experts who are better than them at this specific topic for feedback, whereas insecure people ask anyone and everyone because they don't trust themselves.

So you can build your confidence by doing what they do - trial and error, only measure what you’ve already done, and only work with proven experts!

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